The debate rages on, y'all.  It's a decades long disagreement that seems to create as much of a disturbance as irritable bowel syndrome in a church pew.  Family members are at odds with one another over this.  An oldest son believes one thing.  A youngest son remembers something entirely different.  And daughters-in-law are weighing in as well.  So are grandchildren.  Oh the battle lines are drawn and the fierce debate is heating up again.

That's right.  What exactly did Mama put in her spaghetti sauce?  And why?  And was it even her recipe to begin with?  Man, oh, man!  You'd think we'd let the poor woman who turned us onto this delicacy rest in peace.  Not yet, Mama.  Not quite yet.  We need answers.  We need finality.  Or as they say, "closure."

The debate heated up again just the other night when Mama's oldest grandchild posted the following sweet and simple post on Facebook:  "For those of you who know.... Grandmother Moon's spaghetti and Double Good Blueberry Pie... enough said."

Now the blueberry pie is all about my niece's mama.  There is no debate about that.  Except I am a little put out that I have never tasted it.

Back to the debate.

There were a few nebulous comments in response to my niece's original post from some other loving and caring and hungry folks.  Then came my response.  I guess I am just a troublemaker.

"Was the spaghetti sauce made with or without chili sauce?"  Oh, Lord.  Open the floodgates.

Niece:  "Uh with.... what is the point of not having chili sauce?"

Me:  "Oh no!  You did it all wrong!  Onions, green peppers and ketchup ONLY!"

Current daughter-in-law:  "There must be chili sauce."

Other niece:  "I say - there must be chili sauce.  It just adds a little something.  Every time I make it, I use some chili sauce and mostly ketchup.  And of course, I do everything right.... so...."

The arrogant little snot!

Current daughter-in-law again: "Richard (Mama's oldest child) says that Grandmother's spaghetti without chili sauce is NOT Grandmother's spaghetti Sauce... it is like barbecue without slaw... edible but not the way it's meant to be!!!"

Me again:  "No. Sorry.  You are all wrong.  You are making DADDY'S spaghetti.  Mama's is ketchup only, with grated Kraft American cheese."

Current daughter-in-law:  " I like a sauce with chili sauce, the way God intended!"

Me:  "Communist!"

Her:  "Hey, say what you want, but I have a hand-written copy from Marie (Mama) with chili sauce listed."

Me:  "Oh crap!  I have a hand-written recipe from her that leaves out the chili sauce!  What the heck was she trying to pull?"

Like a prizefighter that dances around the ring, sizing up the competition before pouncing, Mama's first daughter-in-law (my nieces' mom) suddenly joins the debate:  "She used chili sauce unless she didn't have it and Joe (Mama's husband, my dad) would not return to the grocery store.  THEN she used ketchup only.  As God is my witness!"

So, why do these women who both know damned well they are wrong keep interjecting God in this debate?  You'd think their last names are "Huckabee!" I will say this about the first daughter-in-law.  Every time she made spaghetti while she and my brother were married, she always made two batches - one Italian and the other Carolina.

But here is my take on the controversy.  And since I am always right, this is the truth as well.  For years and years Mama was given all the credit and praise over this sauce.  It is, to this day, "Mama's Spaghetti Sauce."  The fact is the recipe came from my dad's sister, Edith who was born, raised and buried in Graham, North Carolina. Thus "Carolina Sauce!"  I kind of think Mama and Aunt Edith had a bit of a rivalry going on - you know, both vying for the attention and love and praise of Joe, the husband-brother.  I know for a fact that chili sauce WAS a major part of Aunt Edith's recipe.  So, naturally, my dad wanted the chili sauce.  However, as Mama's way of taking a stand and leaving her own impression on the stomachs of her loved ones, she mostly neglected chili sauce and instead went solely for the ketchup flavor.  Well, to make her own stand and to piss Daddy off.  I mean, come on.  If you wanted to piss that man off, you definitely went through his stomach!

I want to say that my views are definitive.  That the debate is finally over.  But I have yet to hear from my sister.  Marilyn.  What do you say?  You agree with me, right?  If not, well - you're a communist, too.

PLEASE INDULGE ME AND CLICK HERE TO HELP ME HONOR A MAN I LOVE.

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