I don't know y'all. New Year's Eve has always puzzled me. You get drunk, put on silly hats, and wait until some magical moment to kiss the woman you are with. At the same time, I understand the logic behind it all. After all, wouldn't a woman have to be drunk to kiss a man wearing a “Welcome 2012” hat?

As I recall, one time when I was a young college student, I traveled to Atlanta for New Years. I was there with some friends to attend an afternoon outdoor cocktail party disguised as the Peach Bowl game on New Years’ Eve. After the game, we went to the home of a good college friend’s High School teacher. There was a party there as well. At this party were more young and available women I can remember ever seeing at a New Years’ Eve party. If ever a midnight kiss were to be had by me, it was at the house of my friend’s teacher that night. After all, my attitude had been adjusting all day at Fulton County Stadium.

I kind of hate to brag, but I was quite the man-stud that night. I could have had any woman at the teacher's party. But I pondered the situation very carefully. Just any woman wouldn't do for me that night. She had to be special. After all, I was quite the man-stud.

So, I strutted around for a while, scoping out the territory and the babes. Kind of getting a feel for the landscape, so to speak. Oh yeh. This was my night. Hundreds of miles from my college campus and in the big and steamy city of Hot-Lanta, Georgia! And the babes could sense my rather animal attraction that night. Oh yeh. They could.

And I played those babes. They knew it. They loved it, actually. I was playing one such babe from Savannah, I think. I had her right where I wanted her. She knew it. She had me right where she wanted me. I knew it. I wanted to give that girl my best at midnight. So around 11:45, I excused myself to go sort of freshen up a bit before the big and monumental make-out moment that would surely lead to some form of incredible New Year's bliss for us both.

The night ended up being much more than I could have ever dreamed possible. After I excused myself, I met someone else. A local girl. Her porcelain skin was so smooth and cool. Her mouth was wide open and accepting. Each time my lips approached hers, her mouth opened even wider and by doing so welcomed my entire being into her world. All inhibitions were flushed away during that incredible New Year's Eve encounter. Yeh. It was blissful. For hours.

When I woke up next to her, a couple of hours after the stroke of midnight, I remember hearing through the walls one of my friends say, “Moon! That's enough!” My other friends pounded on the door, saying, “Come on, Moon. We have to go.” Oh yeh. Jealousy ran rampant that night in Atlanta.

Finally my friends busted through the door and into the room. “MOON! WE HAVE TO GO NOW!” In a totally jealous rage, two of them pulled me off her. One friend wiped massive amounts of moisture from my forehead and lips. Another friend grabbed my face, looked me squarely in the eyes and said, “Moon, it's time to go.”

At about the same time, another young babe entered the room. I don't remember who she was or what she looked like, but she must have been rather hot. I can remember hearing the passion in her voice. It was an awkward situation to be sure. Maybe it was the Savannah babe. Here I had spent hours in the dark with someone else, and Savannah wanted me as well. But this New Year's Eve was not a time for inhibitions. So, I said to her, “Hey, Babe. There's enough Moon for everyone!”

She was impressed. She looked into my eyes and said with the sweetest and sexiest voice I had ever heard, “Hey, dumb ass, put the toilet seat DOWN after vomiting! Okay?”

Yeh, well. Happy New Years, y'all!

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