I don't like to complain. But I gotta tell you, I am really tiring of stupid people I pay to do things for me and who let me down. I don't ask much of folks. I really don't. But when I do, and when I pay them to do those things, and when they are too stupid to follow simple – I mean SIMPLE – orders, well, it gets to me.

Take last night, for example. I ordered pizza delivery online. Simple stuff, right? Well, it's simple if you're not stupid. I won't mention the pizza company because I don't want to embarrass them. But come on!

I went to the pizzeria’s website last night and clicked the appropriate button to create my own pie. As I always do, I told the website to put pepperoni and green peppers over the entire thing. An old friend of mine was staying with me last night, and he likes black olives. Frankly, they make me vomit, so I told the computer to put the olives on only half the pizza. Then the computer asked me which half, right or left. So I clicked “left side.” That's simple enough, isn't it?

Well, then we waited. And when the pizza arrived, I looked in the box. Do you know what those stupid pizza people had done? Those idiots put the black olives on the RIGHT side!

Damn them.